In the Service of Her Majesty The Queen

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Originally Posted by Scryler

Sorry.

I was just feeling good for the first time in days and days and got a
little overeager to let people know about it.

I am a self centered person often enough...I forget others have lives, too.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

What's up with work? Did Nationwide make another cut?

No need to apologize.

When I posted last nite, I was much more relaxed, but couldn't find the right words to respond to you writing.

As for work.... just buried. I'm trying VERY hard not to do the late night thing anymore, but (for me anyway) I may have to. No one's breathing down my neck or riding my ass, it's more of a personal thing. I'm not comfortable, personally, with where I am in my work load. Stupid personal work ethic!

Just for all to know, I don't work for Natiownide or any other "big name" company, but with your mentioning of cuts, we've got word that one of the bigger outfits just laid off a BUNCH iof people. My ex wife works for one of their companies and I'm concerned. She's the mother of my son and we work good as a team. If she got the axe (which I beleive "hopefully" won't be the case!) this would put a huge strain on all of us (me, my wife, my ex) raising my son. I know I should give her a call, but I'm almost afraid to hear the news.

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Originally Posted by Scryler

I rise from sleep to meet another day....
...It is not for nothing that one of my names means wind.

Quite lovely. Read it again just now (back at work). Very soothing, IMHO, like a relieved sigh. A new start after a rough time. Or maybe that feeling you get after waking from a bad dream and you realize it was just a dream.

Love the part about green. It's my favourite too, though I prefer deeper, richer greens.

The color of Nature, of Life, of calm. I find my gods, my peace of mind, my rejuvination, in Nature. I'm not an outdoorsman/sportsman, hell, I've never been camping, but I take full advantage of long walks/hikes and getting off the beaten path and exploring.

No one appeared to ask, so I will...

Which one of your names means wind?

(unless it happens to be part of your RL name and don't want it revealed for safety reasons)

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Originally Posted by Scryler

No, I am not done writing. I have taken one big step forward,
but the work has only begun, I understand.

Are you all tired of the writing?

I will look at the chimes you speak of, but I really do not want metal
chimes. Copper might be good, though. So we'll see.


For all of you, have a night of peace. I blow you all a kiss. Take care.

Oh gods no! Keep it up!

Copper would look quite nice. When new, they'll reflect the sun and then they get that lovely green patina as they weather.

And yes, I did have a night of peace. Thank you!

[Scryler]

Arriving late, the storm promised
by the wind comes, crashing thunder
my alarm clock, leaving me to deal
with the aftermath of a disturbing
dream, the dream holding hands with
the soundtrack of tiny tinkling bells.

Driving the dream, the body has a
prevailing will of it's own, the
mind caving in, yearning, even when
the wards set by the exorcist are
in place, even when there are rocks
in the bed, remnants from the pickax.

Not much of a storm, despite the
lengthy march of the wind, unless
the worst of it passed while I slept;
I wanted more, I wanted more.

Ahhh, wanting more: greedy wanton
unbridled body, it always wants more:
a wild horse, unsaddled, red screaming
fiery eagles flying alongside and
overhead, the bells, the bells, the bells,
they call and clangor, ring in rhythm to
the pounding of the hooves, the rise and
fall of the great wings.

Begone, I cry! Get thee gone! Great
Mother, I call, come to me, cover me,
stand in front and behind me!

She does.

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

Very soothing, IMHO, like a relieved sigh.
Love the part about green. It's my favourite too, though I prefer deeper, richer greens.

The exorcist liked it, too.

I like the deeper greens as well, preferably those with a hint of blue.

I don't know how to quote more than one post.

One of my email names means wind. I grew up in a very windy area.


Hope everyone has a good day...mine will be busy

[GuardianAngel82]

Because I like to cause trouble...

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

No one's breathing down my neck or riding my ass,...

Aren't these the same thing?

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Originally Posted by GuardianAngel82

Because I like to cause trouble...



Aren't these the same thing?

LOL!

Depends on the position, I guess.

No, I'm NOT going into further details! That would require a restricted access thread.

Hmmm..... not a bad idea!

Oh Geaer, I had a wonderful idea.....!

[Scryler]

A friend told me about a shop not far
away that has some nice wind chimes...
and dragon's blood. I'm buying them
tomorrow.

Another friend told me something
interesting about buzzards. Yeah,
buzzards. Seems like another
thing that will bring them is
if an animal or person isn't moving,
or is still for awhile. So now I will
probably buy a flag or something
that flaps around, in addition to the
garbage can.

Wind chimes and flags. My house will
look like kitch before I'm done, I
bet you. I may get wind chimes for
the car, too, heh.

And yeah, I got out of the house today.
Good for me. And again tomorrow.

Another long session with the exorcist
coming up tonight. I went to his island
and the beach house last night. A raven
sat on the back of the chair I was sitting
in. Birds. What is up with me and the
birds?

Here's to a good night for all of us.
And, for me, no dreams, I don't want
any dreams.

[GuardianAngel82]

Originally Posted by Scryler

Another friend told me something
interesting about buzzards. Yeah,
buzzards. Seems like another
thing that will bring them is
if an animal or person isn't moving,
or is still for awhile.

Bathing has always helped when I have that problem.

Originally Posted by Scryler

Birds. What is up with me and the
birds?

Is Rhiannon hanging around nearby?

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Have some fun, get a really cool/interesting/colourful flag.

Something that when you look at it, you can't help but smile, even a little.

If it works, it might give you a bit more incentive to head outside, eh?


Wind chimes in the car.... I've seen worse things.

(and yes, I know you were kidding! Right?

With the buzzards, just wondering here... have you looked around the area where they're roosting? Maybe there's some carrion there that may be attracting them. Although, your writings don't mention that kind of activity from them...

Hope your night was peaceful and dream free.

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

Have some fun, get a really cool/interesting/colourful flag.

Something that when you look at it, you can't help but smile, even a little.

If it works, it might give you a bit more incentive to head outside, eh?

I am not sure that I can attach a flag to my house. Still thinking about how to do that. I'm going to search online for one, and - yes, if I do get one, it will be cool. I actually smile and laugh a lot...always have. I just don't know how to write comedy, so I don't. I may try it, but it isn't on the plate today.

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

Wind chimes in the car.... I've seen worse things.

(and yes, I know you were kidding! Right?

I was considering it...but decided against it. Instead, I pulled all the music out of the car and replaced it with Eminem. Ironically, when one considers my feminist leanings, I like Eminem. I think he is a genius. I do not particularly like his sentiments, but understand the need to express them. And he calls up no ghosts.

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

With the buzzards, just wondering here... have you looked around the area where they're roosting? Maybe there's some carrion there that may be attracting them. Although, your writings don't mention that kind of activity from them...

Someone told me there is a pig farm somewhere in the area. When the wind is right (thankfully, very rarely), you can smell it. There is also a lake nearby where I think they roost. So the pigs and the lake bring the buzzards. I know they have nothing to do with me, they are just metaphor, that's all. But I still don't like them.


No dreams. I was too exhausted to dream. I almost immediately fell into sleep. The exorcist is on a different time frame, and our talks go long into the night, my time. He says I am making progress, and will make more. And will come out the other side because I am so strong. I choose to believe him.


Somebody...how do you put quotes from more than one person in a post? I don't know how to do that.


The day is cooooold outside, and blustery. Blue sky above, though, no rain clouds. I don't have time this morning to do any of the writing, nor do I want my head to go where it goes when I write...I have to focus today on work. My work friends have been generous in their support, and forgiving, but I need to hold up my end of things. Tonight...well, we will see. The exorcist will not be available. The writing will likely be all I have.


Hope everyone survived the night and woke up sane. May the day bring laughter.

[Gaear]

Originally Posted by Scryler

Somebody...how do you put quotes from more than one person in a post? I don't know how to do that.

It looks like you may have figured it out, but just in case ...

copy the text you want to quote by normal means (highlight, right click, copy)
paste it in your reply in the desired location
highlight it
click the little quote button on the toolbar (fourth from the right)
after the first 'QUOTE' that appears, add =whatever name so it looks like this: [QUOTE=Scryler]
repeat as necessary

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Originally Posted by Scryler

The exorcist will not be available. The writing will likely be all I have.

Perhaps, if you want it/let it be all you have. You still have all us degenerates here!

Hell, I'm not doing anything tonite, short of our normal "diinner out" with J and the little guy.

Provided my little guy comes home with ALL of his schoolwork done this time!

[Scryler]

I'm glad to have the quoting deal explained. I hadn't figured it out.

Thanks EtC. I'll be on again, later, more than likely. I have absolutely got to sleep for awhile.

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Well, it's late here in Chicagoland and I'm just about ready to head off to Morpheus' realm.

J's already been there for hours.

Supposedly, when I awake tomorrow, the world will be blanketed in white. This time, that's a good thing. New snow on a Saturday morning... brings back some great memories.

A little private time with just me, Nature, and the shovel.

No rushing around. No work to worry about. And grocery shopping can wait awhile!

To the Queen and the rest of you wonderful people, a most pleasant and restful night.

I bid you peace.

[Scryler]

It was cold enough, my first visit to the porch,
to blow steam along with the smoke. Shortly
after, on the second visit, the air was warmer.
The sun is powerful in the semi-tropics. Inside
again, my hands are cold, however, and move
slowly on the keys, my brain stiff, preoccupied
with fear of rejection.

Washed clean by the recent rains, the leaves
of the tall live oaks around and near my place
catch the light sent by the sun, and shine, a
multitude of green jewels, a gift I take with
gratitude. I seek out beauty, take pleasure
in small things today.

Perhaps my garbage can theory is correct,
the waste trucks came yesterday, the cans
in the neighborhood are empty and covered,
the buzzards flock and soar elsewhere. A
lone crow croaks in the distance, lost to sight;
the crows can come, I do not dislike crows or
ravens.

A few songbirds flutter about reluctantly,
I think, perhaps it takes awhile for their
wings and throats to warm up, too, even
as my fingers. Leaving their nests, the squirrels
go to ground, finding and digging up the acorns,
busy, busy squirrels, industrious, hungry.

Such a strange word, busy: it does not look
like it sounds. It reminds me of the tasks set
for the day, the structure, the obligations
that will drive away the chaos, that I must
follow to keep my promise to the exorcist.

So I wish all of you a good morning; seek
joy today: foster faith, believe in beauty,
and it will find you.

[Scryler]

I do not believe how crazy my life can get.

I went to a public meeting the other night, took a seat. As usual, I walk in blind, looking only for an empty seat, I rarely look at people in a group when I am in fear or the very first time I attend; I did this in high school, too, and often wound up in the wrong class, not realizing until I got to my chair and someone else was sitting in it.

Guess who I sat down next to? The guy in the supermarket! Weird! But I didn't faint, tg.

To top things off, now I have a secret admirer.

The exorcist is going to have a cow.

[GuardianAngel82]

Originally Posted by Scryler

I do not believe how crazy my life can get.

I went to a public meeting the other night, took a seat. As usual, I walk in blind, looking only for an empty seat, I rarely look at people in a group when I am in fear or the very first time I attend; I did this in high school, too, and often wound up in the wrong class, not realizing until I got to my chair and someone else was sitting in it.

Guess who I sat down next to? The guy in the supermarket! Weird! But I didn't faint, tg.

To top things off, now I have a secret admirer.

The exorcist is going to have a cow.

SO! Are you going to see the super market guy again?

Secret Admirer? Do tell.

People want to know.

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by GuardianAngel82

SO! Are you going to see the super market guy again?

Secret Admirer? Do tell.

People want to know.

I will likely see the supermarket guy repeatedly...I bought black tourmaline today to hold in my hand when I do, to give me strength to ignore him, or at least keep things in perspective.

Secret admirer? I do not tell secrets.

It takes so little to make me happy, and today has been huge; I smile, I smile, I smile even as I think of it, keying in a note before I run the other direction to take care of my errands.

I will not go to work today, as planned. I cannot write what I need to write today for work; it is too great a stretch, too difficult to switch gears. I will try tomorrow. They signed the memorandum of understanding yesterday, and all I had done is the outline of the curriculum, and typed a short opening paragraph. It was enough, I guess. The lawyers wanted to dot every i, yadda yadda, as is their wont, but I was told that the representative of one of the consortium participants blocked them and told them the project was deliberately open-ended--that shut them up. But I still have an obligation and have to report to the exorcist.

I bought the wind chimes, not glass, but green metal. They were expensive; the owner of the shop will pay her electric bill or 2 weeks of groceries with the price. She was also smiling. I'll set them up when I return so I am there when the neighbor who finds fault with everything I do complains.

I think I will just smile at him.

[GuardianAngel82]

Smile at the supermarket guy and make eye contact. Act friendly and have no expectations. You never know...

Sounds like you got some good chimes. A slight breeze is better than a steady one.

How is your neighbor being critical - helpfully or just negative? Smiling works for both, though. Good plan.

[Gaear]

Uncanny about the supermarket guy, but I guess that sort of thing does happen once in a while. Between him and the secret admirer, it sounds like the stars have aligned.

[Scryler]

The exorcist warns me, and gives me specific direction. Burn the Dragon's Blood, keep my commitment, take care. If he could, I think he would have had me swear it in blood.

I will comply.

I go to work tomorrow. I write tonight.

I forgot to tell him about the wind chimes. They won't go up until tomorrow. They are too large to chime in a breeze. I'll hang them close to where I sit, and kick them once in awhile, I think. They are very large, half a leg long. Deep lingering sound, the better to clear the ethereal energies.

Dark when I get home again, I miss the day life go to nest, tree and branch. The owl is elsewhere, seeking mice...too many cats around here to leave much for a hungry owl.

Night chains a silver crescent to it's mantle...the dark moon comes soon...

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by GuardianAngel82

Smile at the supermarket guy and make eye contact. Act friendly and have no expectations. You never know...

Sounds like you got some good chimes. A slight breeze is better than a steady one.

How is your neighbor being critical - helpfully or just negative? Smiling works for both, though. Good plan.

My neighbor. pffft.

[Scryler]

I almost forgot.


Sleep, so the night falls away.

Sleep, so the sun will rise tomorrow.

Sleep, so you can continue to walk the earth.


G'night, all.

[Scryler]

The exorcist said some strange things to me last night. I do not know exactly what to think about what he said...doubtless, time will provide clarity. But meanwhile, I have been cautioned to observe what occurs closely, and to make no decisions without his input.

I have chosen to trust the exorcist and it feels like I am on a bridge to where he is at, waiting for me, guiding me across. If I make it across, I think I will surpass him, but sometimes I worry that I will fall off; I do not want to fall, I have fought far too long to lose
my way. The exorcist has faith in me...for now, his promise carries me; my faith ebbs and wanes, surges and waxes, unreliable.

One other I trust, entirely, because he is honest.

He...the exorcist...likes the writing, though. That's a good thing. I was worried he wouldn't.


This morning, the birds were flying about chasing each other; I thought I saw a pair of cardinals. Not to be outdone, the squirrels also ran in the treetops, circling the trunks of the live oaks, leaping and landing to and from the thin tips of the branches. Truly, it is spring, even if the weather chooses to sink back into winter.

Spring has always been my favorite time of year, summer the least, unless I am in the high mountains. Summer is tolerable, there, even as winter is vicious.

Dragon's Blood did not prevent the bells from entering my sleep. The energy gathers, again, as the dark moon comes closer. But the buzzards are busy elsewhere today, another good thing.


Good morning, everyone.

I hope you safely rose from sleep,
I hope your day goes brightly.
I hope you find beauty.

I hope, I hope, always there is hope, no?

[Emirkol the Chaotic]

Yup, Without hope, we've got nothing.

Holding onto hope, now THAT'S the real struggle.

Enjoy your day. Here it's sunny and COLD. Bright blue skies, dazzlingly bright snow, frigid wind.

Thank the gods for for hot coffee, a comfy chair, and a good book. Which I will enjoy between doping laundry, making sure my son does his homework, and cooking dinner.

I lead quite the exciting life, no?

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by EMIRKOL THE CHAOTIC

Yup, Without hope, we've got nothing.
Holding onto hope, now THAT'S the real struggle.

I lead quite the exciting life, no?

Not everyone wants an exciting life.


Hope and promises. I believe in both.

[GuardianAngel82]

Originally Posted by Scryler

Not everyone wants an exciting life.


Hope and promises. I believe in both.

Not want an exciting life? That's CRAZY talk! No wait...THAT'S crazy talk.

Actually, I like to get excited about all the boring stuff in my life. I've been teaching math for 21 years, and I'm STILL pumped about work. I'm fixing to go see La and her 2 1/2 month old son, Troy.

Why would there not be hope?

On the other hand, I usually don't change anything on the basis of a promise. True promises don't have to be spoken, though often they should be.

(Incidently, Gaear's post: Thrommel #29, is a good example of this.)

[Scryler]

Originally Posted by GuardianAngel82

I've been teaching math for 21 years, and I'm STILL pumped about work.

Why would there not be hope?

On the other hand, I usually don't change anything on the basis of a promise. True promises don't have to be spoken, though often they should be.

My thinking on the subject:

IMO, hope exists when people succeed or have faith. Repeated failure does not generate hope, unless faith or trust steps in. In my book, faith is fickle and has to be worked at, it doesn't come easily. When things are hard, keeping faith is the most difficult; there has to be some trust or promise that success (read: goal) is within reach or possible.

Promises are based on trust, and I think trust is based upon honesty, even honesty that is painful (as long as it isn't deliberately used to wound). I agree that promises should be spoken; reading between the lines doesn't always lead to trust, it often leads to confusion. Once spoken, however, I generally trust the promise.

Fear, though, cuts trust and faith to pieces. Fear seems to require constant reassurance. I have a lot of fear. I need a lot of reassurance. Hope can wash away fear. I just talked myself around in a circle, heh. So maybe I don't know anything. So what? I still choose to believe in both of them, hope and promises.

[GuardianAngel82]

Originally Posted by Scryler

My thinking on the subject:

IMO, hope exists when people succeed or have faith. Repeated failure does not generate hope, unless faith or trust steps in. In my book, faith is fickle and has to be worked at, it doesn't come easily. When things are hard, keeping faith is the most difficult; there has to be some trust or promise that success (read: goal) is within reach or possible.

Promises are based on trust, and I think trust is based upon honesty, even honesty that is painful (as long as it isn't deliberately used to wound). I agree that promises should be spoken; reading between the lines doesn't always lead to trust, it often leads to confusion. Once spoken, however, I generally trust the promise.

Fear, though, cuts trust and faith to pieces. Fear seems to require constant reassurance. I have a lot of fear. I need a lot of reassurance. Hope can wash away fear. I just talked myself around in a circle, heh. So maybe I don't know anything. So what? I still choose to believe in both of them, hope and promises.

Don't forget REPEATED failure is caused by hope.

Faith or trust is either based on past performance (logic), or it is simply some form of insanity.

In most cases, true promises were already made, and even kept, before they are spoken. So trust is justified. But, since a promise is the ackowledgement of a debt of some kind, it often should be spoken.

Not knowing or not being sure can cause the worst fear. So, speaking a promise can help.